Friday, December 18, 2009

Testimony Page 2009

Every year my family exchanges our testimonies. I decided to include mine on this blog.

This past year has been the hardest of my life. However, as I reflect on the events and the way things have worked out, I can see the Lord’s hand in it. I have felt Heavenly Father’s love and gained a greater testimony of the atonement and how the atonement can provide peace and comfort. I attended a Relief Society lesson a few months ago that focused on how we can use the atonement to help us when we’ve been victims and wrongly been acted upon. It really touched my spirit and the spirit bore testimony to me that the things being taught were true. I especially liked one quote that said that Christ doesn’t expect us to forgive and heal immediately but is patient with us. Since he has gone through all things, we don’t need to feel alone. We can feel of his strength and love for us. He’s there to help us as we work on forgiving and healing. This is a continual process for me.

My patriarchal blessing says I would be blessed with a strong heart and strength of character and I didn’t understand what that meant until these past few years, but have been grateful for those blessings as I’ve moved forward. I find it amazing that those words have always been in my blessing but never had any meaning for me. However, I know that the blessing of having a strong heart helped me get through the divorce and also made it possible for me to remarry so quickly.

I have a testimony of priesthood blessings. They come from God. I have felt his love as I’ve received several blessings that have given me comfort and provided me direction. I have a testimony of the plan of salvation. I know that we agreed to come to this earth to gain experience. There were times in the middle of my divorce (and sometimes recently) that I thought, “There’s no way I would have agreed to this had I known how hard it would be.” But I know that I did. I also know that through this experience I have become a better person and a stronger, more committed person in the gospel. I know that I’m continuously being put in situations that are stretching me and forcing me to grow and change. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m grateful for the experiences that have brought me to where I am. The trials haven’t ended nor do I think they ever will, that’s part of the plan, but I do know that I feel closer to the Lord than I ever have and that has brought inner peace. I still struggle with issues, but have a testimony that as I turn to the Lord I will be inspired about how to respond and deal with the things that come in this life.

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